The Truth About Motherhood

So I have been wanting to write this post for awhile. Because someone has to tell the truth about motherhood. So let's get started--
When I tell people my "situation" in life (I have 5 kids, 3 and under, two sets of twins, etc...) I get a response that consistently is shock, horror, and pity.  And then when people realize that I actually chose my situation, through fertility, and it wasn't some freakish accident (as if having 5 kids this close could be) I am treated like the dumbest, craziest person in the world.  Honestly- it bugs me.  Why- because I love my job! I love it. It fills my life, my soul, and really is better than I could have ever imagined!  Is it hectic? yes. Is it trying? yes. Is it hard? um, YES.  Are there times where it feels like I'm living groundhogs day? yup.  I swear my late nights cleaning my house are pointless, because honestly- It looks like a wreck within an hour of the kids waking in the morning.  So tonight I'm blogging instead :). But what people fail to understand is that something so difficult could be so enjoyable.  And so here I am, putting my voice out there- because I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom.  Before I go any further I need to share a disclaimer- i make so many mistakes, I have many many moments where I'm trying to back track because I didn't handle a situation how I should have.  But the beautiful thing about motherhood is that it is a job. And, just like any job, it is a role that should be developed and nurtured.  Just because it isn't  a degree that is attained in a college doesn't mean that it isn't a career path with goals to be set and milestones to be met.  And when I treat my role as a mom like a job, I'm able to love it, because I'm not just letting the days pass by, I'm building a family.

So I want to share some of the things that are so amazing about being a mom, because we don't hear enough about them! First is having sweet faces that missed you while they were sleeping.  My kids wake up and want hugs, kisses, snuggles and then they tell me they missed me. And my heart feels like it's going to burst for a second, because I missed them too, and I love them so much, and every second that passes is one that I want to cherish and remember forever because there will be future mornings where I don't have sweet voices telling me they missed me while they were sleeping, and I can't bear it!

I love watching my children learn.  It is so amazing how fast kids learn, and being a mom is like being a participant in an amazing traveling exhibit that shows extremely intelligent midgets learning things. It's really cool!  I've been telling my son Batman stories at night, and I try to tie in places around the world like the pyramids in Egypt, or exciting new concepts like using a regulator and oxygen tank so that batman can swim underwater.  The crazy thing is that a few days later I can hear my son talking about things he heard once in a batman story and it blows me away!  Kids really are like sponges and it is just so much fun being a contributor to the different things they are exposed to.  On a side note I think the misuse or mispronunciation of new words they're trying out is adorable!  So much so that I do not correct my children and silently mourn when they figure out they've been using or saying the words incorrectly.

Another thing that is so magical about children is how happy they can be doing anything, and how their love for exploration can lead them to do some pretty funny (and frustrating) things.  My kids can creatively find a way to enjoy just about anything. I mean right now I'm thinking back at my day and it's not like we did a ton, but my kids were so busy doing nothing! For instance, today my son was carrying around a diaper rash ointment bottle and a baby lotion bottle and holding them up to his eyes and using them as "telescopes" or binoculars...  He kept walking around singing "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" or talking about seeing the moon as he pointed his binoculars at the floor. One of my girls loves, and I mean LOVES, changing her clothes.  Today she changed her underwear as many times as their are pairs in her room, and she also wore all of her big brothers underwear.  Sometimes I want to lock up her room and put a stop to it, but it's such a big part of what she loves to do I keep telling myself that washing all the underwear is not that big of a deal. My other twin daughter just laid by our baby twins and when they started rolling into her she just couldn't stop giggling because "they're getting her".  It's so fun to see her start little games with them and she will spend hours by their side. Another funny thing that happened today- we were at the doctors office and I was about a foot away from my son when he chucked a wooden airplane straight at the side of my head. I was so mad and he was so shocked that it hit me.  He quickly said, "oh sorry mom, it was supposed to fly OVER your head." I stopped and tried to think about his point of view and told him I thought that was a great idea, except when he's throwing objects like that they could hurt people, so it would be better to do it outside when he is alone. All of the time I find my kids making messes, or misusing objects in a way that will most likely ruin them and I have to stop myself to realize that they're just exploring the world and having fun.  Right now they're going to do stupid things, like rub 12 oz of lotion (which I splurged on because the scent is heavenly) over their entire body and clean hair, or rub their boogers onto their sisters head because they're "doing her hair like Elsa", and when I find them doing these things they're always so proud as they present their accomplishments. And as hard as it is, I'm trying to learn to be excited with them, and throw out my frustration. It's so easy to forget that they are little explorers, and really they're just doing their job of learning about the world around them. To help me, I've recently made a goal to not get frustrated about anything that can be cleaned up in less than 10 minutes.  Because this time is going to end, and honestly I want to be more like my kids!  I wish something silly like a cloud or an airplane in the sky made me jump for joy.  I wish that I looked at the world around searching for opportunities to explore and live in each moment without waiting for tomorrow. But more than that, I don't want to squish the life out of them by getting mad at their messes and seemingly thoughtless behavior.  Right now is their time to be little, to learn, to make mistakes, to discover their interests, to cry, to laugh.  I want them to see their Momma as someone who will jump in to the fun, not always rain on their parade.


Today I went into the kitchen to find a naked toddler laughing on the counter as she played with clumps of wet sugar all over her hands and body.  There were small peaks of the remainder of the bag on the counter and instantly I began saying "no, no no no! Addie No!  We don't do that Addie!" And then I looked at her face, and her lip started to quiver and I put myself in her little head and realized that she was exploring, How fun for her that experience was, and how difficult it must have been for her to understand why it was wrong for her to do.  So I quickly changed my attitude and told her how silly she was, and that it was okay.  I told her I loved her and that she was a stinker (that is an endearing term in our household).  Even now as I remember the experience I'm sad that I broke her spirit in that instant, and wish I could go back and react differently.  But at the same time I'm hopeful that tomorrow I'll be more like the kind of mom I want to be and the kind of mom my children deserve.  Because being a mom is a sacred role.  There is NOTHING better that I can be doing right now in my life than taking these sweet littles that God has entrusted to me, and trying to teach and love them even though I'm still a child in so many ways.  So tomorrow when I wake up I'll start my day praying I can be better, but also prepared knowing I won't be perfect.  And my kids will have patience with me, and I in turn will have patience for them.  We're a team, team Towner, and I'm so proud and humbled that I get to bear the title of mother to my sweet little team.

So I guess lots of the things people say about motherhood are true- you can't travel like you used to, going anywhere becomes a huge process and bags are packed for running errands, suitcases are packed for an overnighter and anything longer than 3 or 4 days should be considered carefully.  You may not eat a hot meal for years and, sometimes in the hustle and bustle you may not eat at all.  BUT, and this But is the thing missing from all of the conversations you usually hear about motherhood-- nothing in this world and I mean NOTHING is more valuable than holding a sweet tiny baby in your arms for the first time and looking in their eyes you know, and they know, that they need you and you need them. Those moments and memories for me are precious and every time I get to make another memory where I get to hold one of my babies close, or comfort them in their pain or fear, or watch them laugh and discover I thank God that I know the truth about motherhood. It is a miracle, It is amazing, and it is so so worth it.