Counting to 5

5.  That is a number that means a lot to me.  All day long I am counting to 5. In my head I count to 5 while i'm sitting on the couch nursing two babies, while my twin 2-year-old girls and my 3-year-old boy help each other strip off their clothes and run around the house "flying like superman". 1-2-3-4-5.... (sigh) i can do this... I can face this day.  Now on to breakfast. I count to 5 after I've slammed on my brakes, pulling out of Target and turn around in a panic to make sure I see my 5 little people in the back of my van.  Good, no one was abandoned in the cart! drive on.  I tell myself I count to 5 (very slowly) to give my son a "buffer" to make the right decision, but deep down I know it's a buffer so that hopefully I don't have to chase him down and follow through with whatever the consequence is!  It's 1:30 pm and I count to 5 as I get kids fed, changed and ready for naps.  Now to clean up after lunch. 5 is the number of fingers and toes I hope to find on each small hand and foot, signifying a days success. 5:00 PM- The time I look forward to everyday- the glorious time when I will receive a call or text telling me back-up is in route.  And then after dinner, starting from 7:30 until about 10:30, I count to 5 as my five small someones are all kissed gently, sung to, prayed with and tucked in to bed.  And then I sit down on the couch and long to hold them in my arms again.  And then as I lay down, with baby monitor humming nearby, I fall asleep knowing that between the two of us 5 may be the number of times we are woken throughout the night to cries for mommy and daddy to console small fears, help with bathroom needs, or feed little tummies. 5.  That number is the number that runs my life now.  My husband and I have created a small army that has conquered us, laid siege to life before counting to 5.  But the truth is 5 is my favorite number.  It is the number of first times I felt little kicks inside me, confirming the life I knew was there.  The number of small new babies placed in my arms and the number of times I felt a whole new place in my heart open that I never knew was there.  Yup, 5 is my favorite number for now :) Who knows, maybe someday I'll be counting to 6.... Brandon if you are reading this don't panic!